Updated: Jun 27
Women are complex individuals, not necessarily because we want to be, but because of how life can be towards us. Most of us have seen and experienced a lot in our lifetimes. Some of us have gone through things that we've seen and experienced before we even hit puberty. We've learned to "manage" all of that history while trying to do life and be functioning adults. Often with all of that, we are dealing with years and years of baggage that affect the way we abide in relationships, specifically in our friendships with other women.
When dealing with us, many of us will hold each other to a much higher standard than we hold our male counterparts. As women, we tend to give our male relationships a lot of grace and forgiveness, while a sister-friend is on a one strike and you are out ruling. I have to be honest; I was good at that; I think I may have been an on-level expert in that field. And I came to that realization on a recent phone conversation I had with a friend.
The conversation left me so frustrated that my mood changed from happy to irritated. As I sat and reflected on the talk, I started to think about how far I have come on my journey and why I have to behave differently. Why I have to be more understanding because I know that I too was once in a dark place, and you know what? There were women in my life that never stopped checking in on me, making sure that I was okay and spoke life into me when I wasn't at my best, frankly when I didn't deserve it. So, I had to check myself real quick, and I realized that my sister-friend was on a journey of healing herself, some days are going to be good and some days not so good. On not so good days, be loving, gracious, as well as merciful with her, as God and many others were to you.
I share all of this to remind us of the importance of being kind towards one another. To be supportive of one another and encourage one another. It is a powerful, life-altering experience when women inspire and encourage other women from the right place—wanting to see your sister-friend rise from the ashes breathing a life-altering word that carries her through to another day.
Here are some of the takeaways that I learned on how to be better in my relationships:
Don't cut people off - Instead of avoiding people because of something they did, let them know what bothered you, allowing both of you to express concerns and provide explanations. Prayerfully you will come to an understanding, and growth can occur.
Remember that you too were once where they were, or you will be - At some point in our lives, we've all experienced being the dark cloud that other people had to deal with and love. God never gave up on you, and neither did they. So before you get ready to be out with the old...remember from whence you came.
Isolating yourself is not an option - God created us to be relational beings. So that means doing life alone is outside of what is good for us. It brings more harm than good, especially when you are in a negative place; thoughts become louder, depression becomes deeper, anxiety becomes greater.
Today and everyday ladies, I encourage you to speak of life into each other. If you see a woman in passing, greet her, and say something that will stir and uplift her soul. You don't know what she is going through, and you might be the person God sends to give her a life-saving message.
To listen to the accompanying episode, click HERE